Thursday, April 5, 2012

In Terms of My RA, "It's Like That and That's The Way It Is!"

What in the Sam hell? Yesterday I did something I have not done in ages, I took notes on a mind boggling subject matter.....ECOFREAKINGNOMICS. I religiously read and wrote notes with fervor. I have been noted to have the tightest hand tendons by multiple Rheumies. I ignored them and my screaming tendons and felt that I had to get back into the swing of taking notes with my once beautiful handwriting.

**Sidenote- I really at one time did have beautiful handwriting. That is quickly fading away because of my hands and fingers**

Back to my the end of yesterday I was feeling the pain in my palms and fingers. I tried wrapping them in a moist heated towel. I threw away my sand. Has any other RA patient been told to buy sand for sandboxes from Toys'R'Us and heat it up and place hands in said sand for 5 times a day to help relieve tight tendons? I looked at that whacko after he told me to pretend I was at the beach. I quickly retorted, "I wish having RA was like a damn day at the beach! That means I could actually stop being a vampire and get some sun where meds for RA don't break me out into blisters and rashes. It also means that I can stop taking 50,000 IU's of Vitamin D, have a drink, and pretend life is just one big beach party!" What a complete asshole.

I digress, I heated those puppies up last night, took my usual nighttime regiment of RA drugs and during the night I had one of those dreams again. I always have a dream that could be about bunnies hopping in a meadow. Then all of a sudden the dream stops and a version of me is in my dream saying "I hurt". I really despise those dreams. Sleep has been awful since RA has become worse. No position is comfortable for any joint and I just want to escape for a few hours in a pain free place. Is that too much to ask for?

I woke up this morning barely able to open my right hand. When I did my RA finger exercises before opening my eyes, something felt completely off. A digit was not right. I opened my eyes and looked. My right thumb (which has some erosion) was completely whacky and bent/curved off in a direction I never saw it before. I kept hoping it would go away or go back to what its old normal was, but as the day progressed, it stayed the new normal. I never thought a thumb or fingers could hurt as bad as some of my afflicted major joints do (hello right knee you are the size of a watermelon today). Whew this sucker has been a mess today. I had another chapter to read and I did not dare take notes. Actually, I taught myself not to type with my thumb today. That was a tricky deal. I don't even know what is normal anymore when it comes to RA. So many people with this disease suffer things I do not suffer with and vice versa. I wish in a way that more of us showed the same type of symptoms. I think it would make me better understand what is happening to my body. I guess I definitely learned a lesson....don't ever take hand written notes again. Plus, in the wise words of RUN DMC "it's like that and that's the way it is".

Look at this thumb! What am I to do?!

Here is an oldie but a sweet goodie!


  1. Owww! Damn that looks like it hurts like you know what. Have you considered buying a program called Dragon Speak or Dragon Talk or something like that. You talk and it types for you. I am not sure if you were taking notes at a class or from a book. If in a class, maybe you could take a tape recorder to class and tape the professor lecturing then take that home and use Dragon speak to take notes on your computer for you. If from a book, you could for sure use that program. Some say it does take a little working with it for it to be more accurate. i haven't yet given in and bought it myself but will have to for sure and soon. So sorry about that thumb. Owwww.

  2. Hi Deb!
    Yes, my father actually bought that for me a couple months ago. Unfortunately, it did not run with my MAC operating system on the computer I do the most work on. It seems like a wonderful idea though. I just did not want to open the box and not be able to get his money back. He's always trying to find things to assist me. Do you have the program? I hope it helps you. I actually was stupid enough to hand write notes as I was reading the chapter. I am working on my Master's from home, so I am lucky in the sense I do not have to struggle in class. Actually, my RA made me do online courses because walking and stairs and sitting for that long are impossible now. Thank you for your well wishes and it does hurt like you know what! =( I have to find my RA gloves and wear those sweaty things to bed. Hope it helps. I hope you are well Deb.