Friday, August 31, 2012

Ugh, It's That Stupid Time of Year Again

I love my relationship with my fiance only two seasons a year-- spring and summer. Fall and Winter I will venture to say his sick love and fascination with an idiotic game that has no real goal to help better our lives makes me actually find him irritating and I'll go a step further...it makes me despise his guts.

I never in a million years thought I would be in a relationship that involved me, a mate, and fanatical sports viewing. I find the concept of my fiance watching this stupid shit hurtful, selfish, and degrading to our relationship. I am now given time frames about 10 hours a weekend of when and when I can't talk to him because a game is on. Can you get a load of that shit? Of course he doesn't find anything wrong with it. I mean, someone like me, doesn't care for rules, follow rules, and when rules are enforced one of two things can happen. One, I get bored and lose interest or two, I break the rules in some grand fashion, blow the rules up, and then burn the bridge I had.

We have had several spats about these issues during the week. Guess what? All I hear is, "you knew I was an avid sports fanatic" or "it could be worse, I could watch a game everyday" or my favorite this week, "I bought you cupcakes". I'm sorry, I thought you bought me cupcakes just because you loved me, missed me, and knew I would enjoy the sweet sentiment from the person I am in love with. Geez, what an idiot I was to think like that. Right?

I just sit in amazement of after all of these years I sacrificed being in a long distance relationship to finally be together be widowed during fall and winter for a homoerotic death match of dim wits. That just doesn't sit well. I already resent this aspect of our relationship, how am I going to marry a man knowing this? I mean I don't spend everyday with him so the full sting isn't there, just partially there when I know I am being penciled in for a phone chat. I'm the type to tell him to shove the phone chat up his ass because I don't play by the rules. Then when I say this, he likes to one up. He's a one upper or a matcher. He'll say "Well you watch Young and the Restless and GLEE"....that pisses me off too. I hate his sick need to either change the subject or switch back on me like I'm the bad person.

I don't need to work 40 plus hours a week to live nicely and then on the two short weekend days I have with my husband, he's busy watching stupidity.

It simply blows my mind and angers me to no end. I know he doesn't get it and he'll stick with the "you knew I was an avid sports watcher." If I hear that one more time, I swear I am so close to backing out of our engagement. I just can't see how I can be married and in this situation year after year for the rest of our lives. I even went as a far as to research "football wives" and "football widow" for coping mechanisms or for guidance. I came across one link that made me want to vomit bile. This article suggested I change my ways to accommodate my man and his football. Umm, isn't it 2012 not 1952? I don't accommodate anyone who won't accommodate me. What the hell is the point in that?

Check out this ridiculous link I read: http://voices.yahoo.com/a-survival-guide-football-widow-680.html

I have said over and over, time and time again, we are not cut from the same cloth. What the hell do we have in common, it needs to be something so big that helps keep us together? I don't even know if I should go on with wedding plans. I feel like we'll be breaking up any day over this BS because we aren't finding middle ground. I don't need the stress, that's for sure.

What to do? What to do? I don't need to be in a relationship with feelings of resentment over something I find stupid. He really needs another woman that better matches him. He really truly does. Someone submissive, does what he says, likes what he likes, caters to his every need. I'm not that chick. Not by a loooong shot. I should tell him it's free communication weekend on one of those sites like match. com. He would probably find a dumb bimbo who likes sports. I really could rant about this forever, that is literally how upset I am.

I'll stop now and stew in my anger. I don't feel I need to cater to him on this subject. I understand compromise is needed for real relationship problems but I refuse to compromise on this just like he will refuse to compromise on how he feels. I think that my friends is what they call a stale mate in chess, you know an actual game that takes IQ points to play.

Makes me think of the Cell Block Tango in the musical Chicago. You know the scene? The gist is, the women simply snap after their husbands repeat annoying habits or worse...



5 comments:

  1. Legitimately, the cell block tango has always been my favorite song from Chicago. I always dreamed one day I would perform it haha but maybe not so literally ;)

    The boyfriend and his dad are very into baseball - when I say very, I mean at one point I was ready to break up with him during the infancy of our relationship because all he wanted to do was watch baseball or teach me baseball or blog about baseball. I decided that if I couldn't tear him away from baseball, I would learn it to enjoy it together. I bought a book on the basics of baseball for girls and then joined a fan site he was a part of running in order to just learn things. Then I started posting. It really helped to change our relationship. I'm not suggesting that football is going to be the same kind of thing - or that you have to do it. I used to be all about football and I know it's a completely different ballgame - literally and figuratively.

    But I will say the reason I'm posting so late is that we just got back from a Milwaukee (1.5 hours away) Brewers baseball game. Dad works in the press box sometimes and we hitched a ride in with him and were able to rub elbows (for probably the 15th time now) with reporters and ballplayers. Me learning about baseball changed my life in several ways - I was able to take hold of our relationship & improve my relationship with dad and I've made some friends and had some really amazing experiences along the way... and I fell in love with baseball too.

    Mmmm baseball.

    Another thought - make a deal with him. You watch and learn about football and he has to do the same with Glee - complete with dancing ;)

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  2. KirBir- Long time no see! I hope you are doing well and feeling well!

    All I can say is you are a waaaaaay better girlfriend than I am a fiance. I understand the mentality of "if you can't beat them, join them" but I'm just too damn mad and stubborn to do what you did right now. If you don't mind me asking, what changes or compromises has your boyfriend done for you about baseball? I see you compromised, but did he compromise and take all that time and effort on something your really love?

    I refuse to compromise if my partner won't compromise. I don't think he'll ever offer nor watch GLEE and I'd be stuck compromising watching his shit. I have had this awful issue with fairness my whole life. I should have been born a Libra.

    I appreciate your sweet thoughts and helpfulness though. I just think you are a better person than me. I should open my mind to new experiences like you have and I am happy you benefited from them. I can't say I will be like you though. I really just hate sports on the whole. I despise that these pricks make millions of dollars and don't add much benefit to society. I then hate how all the fans add to their paychecks by watching and purchasing shirts and what not. This is what I get for being an intellectual and analyzer. :)

    Take good care and I hope you are feeling well! <3

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  3. Awww honey thanks for the well wishes, but I think we are all equal just different :)

    He really has compromised a lot. He is physically perfectly normal and he does more than his share of our chores and really takes very amazing care of me when I am not well. Even if he is frustrated that I didn't do xyz, he lets it go. He has done a lot with raising awareness of my illness - running races, donating, fundraising, wearing his 'cure arthritis' bracelet every single day no matter where we go. And lately he's been humoring me as I go ape over all things Batman or baby niece related. We compromise a lot with each other. Now he seems a lot more apt to go and do other things when a game is on, like hiking or shopping or whatever. I think perhaps a lot of that has to do with me feeling like I can safely do those things and him not wanting to miss out. I still get frustrated sometimes when he's on the computer all night or playing video games a little too much - but I try to include myself in what he's doing, as he does with me and it really seems to help. I think that he and I are very very similar in personality so it makes it a lot easier maybe to communicate.

    Of course, this is all coming from me now. A me from when we first started dating and all he did in his spare time was be on the computer and watch baseball... I would like be crying lying on his bed, him with his back turned at his desk and he wouldn't notice. It was reallllly bad. It was tricky to work through it all, but moving in together I think really helped squash all of that.

    A lot of me and baseball at first was frustration at these guys driving fancy cars and ballin' in the most racially segregated city in America. But the players in Milwaukee really do a lot for the community, so it is easier for me to get behind them. It seems like baseball in general tends to be more charity-giving than football. I only really watch college football anymore, because they aren't supposed to benefit from playing monetarily and do often do a lot more than their NFL counterparts to make the world a better place.

    Holy cow. I'm so sorry this got to be ridiculously long!

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  4. Don't worry about length of posts. I am not a post Nazi. Thank you for sharing your story with me. It helped a lot to understand another couple. We aren't really friends with other couples, especially couples that have a disabled partner (or like us where both of us have a disability). I am glad you both learned to compromise during your relationship. We have to work on these things as we go and as we move in. It will be a transition like you two had. I am so happy that your boyfriend helps support you in so many aspects. That is so great to know! You seem like such a special person. I hope your baby niece is doing well as is your sister.

    Also, I AM SO JEALOUS YOU GOT TO SEE AND HEAR LAURIE SING! He's one hell of a talent! I had a crush on House. He was the type of man I saw myself with mainly because I have that character's personality in many ways!

    Take great care and keep us posted through your blog!

    BIG HUGS!

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  5. Moving in was scary for me, because it invited him to see how I do all the time. I couldn't just stay home and "sleep" because I wasn't feeling well and so he got to start seeing how difficult things get for me. I'm thankful that he can, because he knows when I need help now I don't even have to ask. It's amazing. Things will get better for you guys. The first weeks after moving in are a little rough - "Oh, you squeeze the toothpaste in the middle? How annoying!" "At least wash out the sink when you're done shaving? Please?" and my favorite, the angry laundry folding after it's been sitting in the hamper clean for 3 days :) But it gets better. You both will learn more patience and those annoyances will become things you love instead.

    OH MY GOSH I CANNOT EVEN TELL YOU HOW AMAZING IT WAS LIKE I HAVE NO WORDS. I have loved him for like ever and to see him in person, so close I could conceivably have touched him... it was crazy. I felt like a Beatles fangirl haha. Do you have his CD? Would you like it? I can email! :D

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